An expert author in education said that in the family and school is where more orders are given and where fewer orders are carried out.
The positive is the opposite, I mean that there are few rules that are fulfill and allow that the child can express an opinion.
First, in the family must have few basic rules, taking into account the age of children and family circumstances. However, orders sometimes are given for anything, by impetus or affirm their own personality.
For example, a mother said to her servant: go to the children’s room, watch what they are doing and prohibit them. She didn’t know if what children are doing was good or bad, but anyway she had to reproach them strongly.
With this attitude two effects occur: parents lose their authority because children will not obey them and the stability of the family environment is broken since now it is arbitrarily prohibited what could be done before without problems. This creates insecurity in children’s personality.
Second, it is necessary that few established rules are always fulfilled. The child must be convinced that can not break family rules established between parents and children. It is also necessary that teachers participate in the same decisions and demand that the child fulfills them. This consolidates the authority of parents and avoids many tantrums.
Instead of repeating many times the same things, such as pick up the jersey and the slippers, straighten the room, study, etc, we must achieve gently and calmly that the child fulfills immediately. This may involve some sacrifice since the mother will have to stand up, take the child of his hand to make that he does what must do.
Likewise, it is not good that the mother with little authority threatens the child to tell everything to his father to punish him. With these words, the mother demonstrates that she has no authority and does not know how to manage the home.
She shows the father as the bad ogre that punishes evil actions of children. In many occasions the father does nothing, because does not know how facts happened and the child can not remember or is aware of his past acts.
Third, the child must have the freedom to express an opinion, although some of his preferences do not share those of the adults.
This must be respected by virtue of the personal singularity of each person. Parents can not try to make their children in their image and likeness, as photocopies or decals.
Arturo Ramo García.
Filed under: http://www.theleader.info/article/47569/
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